The writer was searching for ideas to write a new book. By the time he had already used the themes he knew best – the upper/middle-class, elite educational institutions and middle-class romance – and didn’t know what to write next. He had no idea that Writer’s Block would be such a big deal. Happens to all great minds, he told himself. Yet, the pain was unbearable to him. ‘Help me god’, he prayed. ‘ Please do something like you did in my novel’. There was no answer. But just as he moved to grab a cup of coffee to serve the late night internet time, the phone rang.
‘Hello Ketan’, said the Dolby 5.1 voice on the other end.
‘OH.MY.GOD! Is this really happening? I never thought that something like this could really happen!’
‘Nothing. I’m just stuck with ideas. I’ve run out of topics to write. Tell me please, what can I do? What can I do?’. The writer was on the verge of breaking into tears.
‘Stop being a sizzy, Johnny Fontane.’
‘Nevermind. Open your eyes Ketan, and look around. What do you see?’
‘I see Arnab Goswami on TV!‘
‘You’re so hopeless, Ketan. Look around again.’
‘I see Arundhati Roy!‘
‘Bingo! Tell me now, what do you think you should do when you have nothing to write?’
‘Write about politics! Oh my god, I’ve never been clearer!‘
‘I know that part, but what do you plan to write about politics?’
‘Liberalism, Maoism, India-China friendship?‘
‘You’re being hopeless again, Ketan. That territory is already occupied’.
‘Hmm… How about going just the opposite side? Towards the right of the politics?‘
‘Well thought. But your fanboys are from urban India and they don’t know yet if they are on right, center or left.’
‘Now I’m confused!‘
‘Just like thy fans Ketan baby, but that’s okay. I will give you an idea. Write about something that is political yet you won’t be straight political, something so populist and appealing to the middle and elite class yet you will touch an emotional note with the rest, while ensuring you poke nose into someone more famous than you for a bit of TV time and in the effort you also get in the company of powerful people’.
‘Wow, that’s a lot to do, god! Is that even possible?‘
‘Like I said, look around you, boy. What do you see? Now don’t tell me the name of that Arnab fellow again or am gonna put you straight in an interview with him!’
‘Fair enough. Okay, I see Narendra Modi.‘
‘I see Amartya Sen and he is saying something about Modi.‘
‘If I write against Sen and support Modi, I will be even more popular and mine and Modi bhai’s target audience is almost the same!‘
‘Dumb, dumb boy. How do you then relate to the other class?’
‘Hmm… so should I speak on behalf of young Indians in general than myself?‘
‘Just because you have put an old photo of yours in that blue T everywhere from your book covers to Twitter background, doesn’t make you look young or the youngsters’ representative (get that T changed, BTW. You have Photoshop these days, you know).’
‘Then I will probably write against Sen saying he doesn’t know what the poor India wants.‘
‘Poor, of what kind?’
‘The ones who can’t attend a decent college or get a decent job?‘
‘And you know them because… you’ve spent your academics in IIT/IIM and then you got a job as an investment banker in Hong Kong and you stayed there for 11 years?’
‘But who’s going to think about all that? This is young urban India that we are talking about!‘
‘Super cool. You’re smarter than me.’
‘Kai Po Che! Gotta hang up now. Twitter time!‘
And so the writer began to tweet.