Homosexuality and Our Perceptions
Posted by JoMar 11
I read about a “sexual orientation test” in Rediff’s website through India Uncut. The test is in promotion of an upcoming Hindi film and the film is not seriously about homosexuality. It is supposed to be a comedy. Well enough, but Rediff’s questionnaire is full of stereotypes as an online friend, who is Gay, points out. I think probably this is the right time to write about my views on the most tabooed topic – Homosexuality.
I used to have strong views against homosexuals. Just like many of us have or had, I thought it’s unnatural and as a society we shouldn’t let it happen. I always thought about it only from my point of view and never from the other. I thought of it as a mental illness as it is propagated by the society, even though Wikipedia says that medical science has removed homosexuality from the list of psychic problems long back.
In my teenage, I and my friends used to make fun of homosexuals. We used to gather together In the evenings on those days. So when a Gay teenager passed over (and we told them apart by their girlish notions), we would make funny and nasty comments on him and some would even shout at him. A friend even suggested that ‘we should softly invite him for a blow job and when he comes along we should beat the hell out of him to straighten him up’. However, that did not happen as most of us thought ‘let them be’. So homosexuals were easy preys upon whom you could prove your ‘masculinity’.
So for us boys, the Gays were boys who behaved like girls. And we couldn’t digest it, as their outer self and inner self were contradicting. I never thought of how it would be for them if it is this confusing for others. Growing up, I have had abusive experience from pedophiles in the crowded places. It was mostly older men but for me, they were Gays too. So there were more reasons to hate Gays – Gays are unnatural and they sexually abuse boys. I didn’t know about the term Pedophilia or the fact that Pedophiles abuse kids, regardless of their victims being boys or girls.
As I grew up and read more on the subject, I began to understand the different sexual orientations and stuff. I learned that being Gay need not be about being girlish. Or all Lesbians are not so masculine. They could be just like any other man or woman, except for their sexual or romantic orientation. I still couldn’t digest because in most of the homosexual blogs or in their pride rallies, sex is a celebrated symbol. I felt it nasty and wondered why they would display vulgarity in public or why sex is so important to them. But later I understood that their whole fight is about this one thing – getting the society to accept their sexual orientation, treat them as normal people. In that case, what else do they have to showcase or speak about?
I thought of myself, what if I was Gay? What if I felt only for men and never for women? What if it was not a disease? What if it was how I born? It is only then, when I put myself into their shoes, that I understood how helpless is the situation of homosexuals here. We cannot ignore the existence of homosexuality anymore. It only leads to more youngsters going into prostitution or worse, suicide.
I think as grown up individuals, heterosexuals should take part in the cause of homosexuals. For the equal treatment and legal protection for homosexuals in the society and country. We don’t need to be homosexuals to take part in this fight. It is like how we fight for freedom of expression here in the online world, regardless of our political leanings. We talk about equality everywhere – Gender based, Religious, Racial, Regional etc etc. Then why not join in this fight too?
To quote actor Sean Penn from his Oscar speech:
For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support.
We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.
Let me end this post by linking to two Gay blogs that I stumbled upon. Sam’s blog, he calls it “Straight-friendly Gay Blog”, for his posts that demystify the concepts that “Straight” world has about Homosexuality and Kris’s blog for his music.
(Image source: Internet)
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21 comments
Comment by Narayanan on March 11, 2009 at 11:43 am
Being straight or Gay is a person’s own choice. Everyone should respect it..that’s my 2 cents.
Comment by Ravi on March 11, 2009 at 10:32 pm
You have made very subtle remarks and very rightly at that too! I was astonished to read that until early 70s homosexuality was considered to be a disorder. To add to it we still have victorian laws which makes homosexuality an offence (its an irony that the Britain today endorses same sex couples). I am not vouching for same sex marriage, legality of their union, gay clubs and so on but I just hope people tend to regard gays as normal people not as sex maniacs, psycopaths or labelling everyone as effeminate. Without any rules, if the society is able to come to terms with gays – accept and respect them as they are, then I think that itself is a great forward leap for gays.
Comment by AJ on March 11, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Jo,
A very nicely written blog on such an interesting and mind-wakening issue….
Well, i wont go in detail but would like to let everyone know that I have a couple of my friends who are GAY, but u wont believe, they are just like us all….They have fun when supposed to be and feel miserable at times…just like all of us do….so why discriminate…..
A lot of times we go out together and they stare at other men like we guys look at girls….Just feel that its a matter of choice or you are just born with….
To all people, if u wanna discriminate, think urself in thier shoes like JO mentioned and you will realize how cruel the society can be…..
To lighten it up, one of my GAY indian friend told me once (Its very funny….he used one of the most heard song into his GAY slogan)
The song goes as “hum honGAY kaamyaab, hun honGAY kaayaab, ek dinnnnn”
He feels that this day will arise….and I believe so YES….
Comment by siby on March 12, 2009 at 11:06 am
Its is important to say this now.. bcz,
its not important to say who said it first..and when…
- siby
Comment by Crazy Sam on March 12, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Well.. I know it could be unintentional when many people put the word “choice” while talking about homosexuality. Even then, I want to take this opportunity to say, that for gays, it was not a choice. Just like the same way for the other people, being straight was not a choice. There are many among us (gays) who regret for having these deviant feelings, sometimes even leading to their suicides. It’s only after a lot of self-questioning (“Why am I not feeling any attraction towards gals? Why don’t I feel all that my friends talk about women? Why do I always focus on the actor instead of the actress? What is wrong with me?” etc..) and realizations (“It’s not just me, there are a large number of people who have the same feeling. They are called gays. This means I’m not alone.” etc..) that we finally learn to accept ourselves and it takes a lot of years for this self-acceptance to happen. This is nothing sort of a disease, it is as normal as guys getting attracted to gals. Denying it or trying to “cure” it can only do damage.
And Joe, you said about a friend who wanted to beat the hell of a gay guy to make him straight. I’m not trying to imply that your friend could be one, but there are guys who carry hatred towards those that remind them about themselves or who fear they could lose the friendship if their friends come to know of the truth and so they put an act of hating homosexuals. So you see, homophobes exist even in gays. When straight people starts showing acceptance of gays in a more open way, many such issues can be solved.
You also raised a very important point that a large number of people associate homosexuals with pedophiles. Let me also add that all homosexuals are not feminine (chandupottu), crossdressers and transgendered (Hijdas).
Thanks Jo for mentioning my blog and for this wonderful post.
Pingback by Musings » Sunday Brunch on March 15, 2009 at 7:41 pm
[...] How far we Indians understand homosexuals [...]
Comment by kunjal on March 15, 2009 at 8:34 pm
nice post:)got your link through Cuckoo’s blog.
Quite correct everyone needs space and one is free to choose what ever they want.
Comment by Priyank on March 16, 2009 at 7:02 am
//Being Gay is a person’s own choice.
This is probably the most ignorant and insulting thing for a gay man’s ears, although the intent of the speaker might be innocent. Is being straight a choice one makes? Its not like wearing a red shirt instead of blue! One canNOT choose to be gay, just as one can’t choose to be straight. I agree with crazy Sam, most of us felt that way, mostly.
Very nice post Jo. Thanks!
Comment by Jo on March 16, 2009 at 11:30 am
All,
Thanks a lot for sharing all your thoughts. I was expecting the comment column to be empty as Homosexuality has become such a taboo topic.
Never knew that there would be so many similar views.
Comment by zedler on March 16, 2009 at 11:29 pm
JO,
I am a frequent visitor of your web site especially because i love music. God has gifted you with a very nice voice.
But this time i visited i wanted to jot down some thing man.
I am disappointed to see one more, no, more and more people are being conditioned
to accept one of the grossly indecent behaviour in the society which they conveniently categorize as “orientation”,”personal choice”.
Let me quote from bible from Matthew 19:5
“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. ” This is how God intended. Sex is a gift from God.
And it has to be with in the institution of marriage. Any sex outside marriage is Sin.
Here marriage means between man and woman. Anything else is not marriage.
Hebrew 13:4 says, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
And history is witness to it. The total destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. From this only the word sodomy or sodomite is coined.
If you see the Old Testament God weighed homosexualty equivalent with murder which is judged with capital punishment. Nothing less than that.
I am not saying that we should hate the homosexual people, rather with compassion we should educate them and create awareness that this is unnaturaly and evil and rehabilitate them.
But here i am amazed by the way people are conditioned to accept this gross behaviour.
If it goes like this in another ~ 10 yrs what will be the state of our children.
Today you accept homosexualty as an acceptable behaviour tommorrow you will accept zoophilia as a another orientation or may be personal choice. This will be total anarchy.
quoting you”
I think as grown up individuals, heterosexuals should take part in the cause of homosexuals.”
What cause are you talking about?
Helping them lead their life in this society!! helping them adopting children!! (God knows what will be the future of those children.). helping them establish that this is an accepted behaviour.
God is kind, patient and forgiving if you are humble enough to go to him and ask forgiveness.
May God bless you
Comment by zedler on March 16, 2009 at 11:35 pm
If you are an athiest the whole thing is not at all a problem. Because that philosophy itself logically tends to accept this.
But from the premise of Bible it is impossible to accept this behaviour.
Comment by zedler on March 16, 2009 at 11:44 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkCkXU0e75k
Comment by zedler on March 16, 2009 at 11:45 pm
Am not able to post the video as embedded. Please follow the link below with an open mind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkCkXU0e75k
Comment by Jo on March 17, 2009 at 12:33 am
Zedler:
First of all there is no rehabilitation process in the case of Homosexuality as far as I heard. There are people who have turned out to be Homosexuals, because of many factors including sexual abuse in the early childhood etc. They could be educated, counselled and changed. But there are people who are born homosexuals, with no attraction towards the opposite sex, but the same sex. Would you consider it as God’s punishment to them? And if yes, for no fault of theirs? What kind of a God would punish people for no fault of theirs?
My idea of God is all inclusive. Jesus was inclusive. He had re-interpreted what was told in the Holy Book (old testament). For this, he was punished and crucified by the clergy. If Jesus was here at present in the human form, he would have said “they are my children too”.
The story of Sodom and Gomorah is different. The people out there demanded to have those angels for sex. It was forced sex and nothing less than a group rape. God would have punished them even if it was not homosexuality.
Plus, you cannot follow everything which is said about in the Holy books. Remember the story of the prohet having sex with his own daughters to further his generation? So that is justified but homosexuality is not? That doesn’t seem right to me.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Comment by zedler on March 17, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Jo,
I am happy that you see a change is needed for them.
For people who are born with orientation towards same gender, i blieve God can punish even generations. Thats what Bible says. But for those who are in christ there are no curses. But i dont know why they are born like that. May God help them.
I don’t understand when you say God is all inclusive. If it means Jesus accepted sinners.Yes you are right. He came for sinners. I also identify myself among sinners. If you see the zaccaus and the Mary (prostitue) they were aware of their sins and they accepted themselves. When Jesus forgave Mary He said one thing Sin No More. This means he accepted sinners but hated sin and wanted them to repent and not sin anymore.
Romans 1:21-28 will anwser alot of questions..
“Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of incorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and four-footed beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves: who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
“For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men leaving the natural use of the women, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful.” (Romans 1:21-28)
Quiting you
“The people out there demanded to have those angels for sex.”
But this happened when God has already decided to destroy them. The sin was Homosexuality. It was destroyed because of the same.
Also
” Remember the story of the prohet having sex with his own daughters to further his generation”. You are mentioning about Lot here.
Bible doesn’t justify the incest relationship his daughters had with him. And that too without Lot’s Knowledge.Bible does not hide the degenerated behaiour from the people of God. All these things happened to Lot coz he forsook his uncle Abraham. Thier children Moabites and Ammonites became the worst enemies of Israel.
Zedler
Comment by Jo on March 17, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Zedler:
Perhaps I did not put it right, but I do not see any issues in two adults having sex with mutual consent. Be it heterosexuals or homosexuals.
This whole concept of Sin and Punishment is what takes Christianity back to the old ages. That face of an agry and bossy God make me stay away from him and revolt. I think the concept of Karma is better than the concept of Sin in this case.
Anyways, to each his own.
Comment by zedler on March 17, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Jo,
Thanks for telling me to shut up in a nice and subtle way.
Just kidding man.
Keep posting your songs. Am waiting for new ones.
Zedler
Comment by Priyank on March 17, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Indeed, we still have a long way to go before emerging from the dark ages… Literal and dogmatic interpretation of religious text can only lead to Talibanisation. But then, some people want exactly that.
Comment by Jo on March 17, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Zedler: I did not mean to say “shut up”!! Healthy conversations are always welcome here.
Pingback by Homosexuality Legalized | Just Jo on July 2, 2009 at 11:24 pm
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