Love Jehad?
Three of my good friends who are Christians married Hindu girls. All three of them were either studying or working together when they first met and fell in love. The girls got converted to Christianity. What do I call this? Love Crusade? I would like to know what Catholic Church has to say about this.
Two of my Hindu friends married Christian girls. The girls got converted to Hinduism at Arya Samaj offices. What do I call this? Love Karseva? I would like to know what Viswa Hindu Parishat has to say about this.
I have mentioned this over and again in many communications that at least in Kerala, those who have to compromise on their religion for a wedding happen to be Women. I have said that this is more of a gender issue because I have never heard of a boy converting to his girl’s religion to get married.
However, when the boy happens to be a Muslim and the girl happens to be a Christian or Hindu, why is it linked to the word Terrorism and an immediate interest in calling it Love Jihad? Why is it that our media even called it an organization without even investigating a little? Why are they remaining silent now that the DGP has submitted a report before the court that there is no such organization and no indication of anything like Love-Jehad? How could the Catholic church shamelessly join hands with VHP in keeping the numbers of the herd intact?
To conclude, an old online acquaintance of mine who happens to be a Muslim married a Christian boy some years back. Both of them have not changed their religions.
What do I call THAT?
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November 13th, 2009 at 10:31 am
I happen to know a couple of hindu men who converted to christianity after marriage. But they probably felt hinduism was pagan anyhow, or were looking for some change in the western world.
I do agree with you on women being the ones who often change religions. And it is ironic, that they love one another, but need to change themselves to live as partners in life.
But beyond this issue, aren’t women taught to be the sacrificers? In general; I am sure there are exceptions to this rule.
November 13th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Oh yes, it is indeed a gender issue. Why must the woman be the one to convert, always (or at least 90% of the time) ?
Leave aside inter-religion marriage. Even in our Mizo community which has a lot of different protestant denominations, the female is usually the one who change to the husband’s denomination – If she is a Presbyterian and he is a Seventh Day Adventist, she becomes 7th Day. If she is a Baptist and she marries a Catholic, she becomes Catholic.
The Church is known for sexual discrimination right through history. Of course one can interpret God’s message about making Man the HEAD in different ways, but while doing so, people often misinterpret that a woman is nothing but an item that has no mind of its own. Misquoting and misinterpreting the Bible is as dangerous as doing so with any other religious text.
Coming back to your topic, I find the whole “Love Jehad” accusation by the VHP ridiculous and am shocked that the Church joined hands with them to denounce “this evil”. Seriously, do these people think all women are so dumb and naive as to fall in love with somebody who’s sole intention is to convert them??? I find it downright insulting for all womenfolks out there.
Ps. On the lighter side, we know we Indian guys are soooo not Don Juans or Casanovas. So is this Love jehad or crusade or karseva even remotely possible? Imagine such a guy approaching a girl in his notable quest to convert her… “Hey, wanna be my fraand?”
November 13th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I could never digest the concept of girl getting converted to boy’s religion. Why do they do it ? Is it to be acceptable by the boy’s family ? Probably. Why can’t the boy take a stand and not force girl to convert ? May be he do not want to offend family. What about the girl with whom he got to live ? I never understood this. What I did was this – I married a hindu girl and disagreed with all those who advised me to tell her to convert. I went a step ahead and let her place a small ‘temple’ at my home which had upset my dad. I just told him “let us agree to disagree here”. I will not understand such conversions and they won’t understand my stand.
November 13th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Sabu: That’s a great thing you did Sabu. It takes a lot of courage and a broadminded approach. Kudos to you.
November 13th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I just have one question.. Why convert? If you accept a person, accept the person the way they are!!
I totally agree with Sabu here.. Cheers mate.. That was really nice to hear from you!!
20+ years the person would have followed a religion.. Be it boy or a gal.. Cuz I know of guys who have converted too.. Why ask them to change it?
If a person wants to convert proactively, then I guess it’s a matter of choice, but I guess it should be a matter of choice even otherwise..
My friends and I had a research on religions and their mythological backgrounds.. It was really amazing to find that almost everything diverges to one point, one power and everyone has their own ways of believing that.. I respect that..
November 13th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Definitely a gender issue. Even in arranged marriages, I don’t know the norm for hindus and muslims but among christians, if it is an inter-denominational marriage, the girl has to convert to the guy’s denomination. I just don’t understand why but I do know all guys as well as their families expect it. Why can’t they just let the girl stay in her own denomination?
November 16th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I know a couple whr the girl is Hindu and the guy is Muslim and they both have stuck to their religions without any issues. And its a fun going to their place since they celebrate festivals of both the religions.
Y do ppl even need to convert?
November 16th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
There might not be any organization called “love Jihad” but the whole houdini act of “love Jihad” that everyone is trying to believe is actually the by-product of a fear that is afflicted to some sections in the society and that cut across all religions and that is why immediately after it was said there was something like ‘love Jihad’ exists, even christian organizations in kerala went up in arms. even some organizations came out in support of the virulent sangh brigade in kerala vowing that they are going to fight hand-in-hand.
in an increasingly globalized situation where satellite channels beam programs based on loose western so called value system, some section is afflicted with a fear – what is happening to us? To counter this, as in the case of mental – illness they start rambling about a ghost that never exist.
traditionalists and purists, make hay while the sun is shining. It is easy to rope in insecure parents and adults, who seems to be puzzled with the onslaught of the change that our society is undergoing.
infact, i feel the change in societal norms are changing so fast in a culture like India, some who are scared has whipped up this. add to that, the current islamophobia, it is an easily sellable product.
while it is utterly ridiculous for love married couples to institutionalize any religion, be it the girl or boy. we have to understand something. The society as a whole it terribly unacceptable of these conditions. For love married couples, our society makes it difficult to live, if they dont comply the usual societal norms. probably, we will have to wait a lil more for such acceptance. The saddest part is that mostly woman is the one who is hounded with such societal pressure.
Love Jihad might or might not be existing, but what we need to accept is that we need to create an atmosphere were inter-religious and inter-caste marriages happen more and more. while we are eager to erase the chimera that love Jihad is, we tend to forget that we are also part of that cog that show unacceptability for inter-religious and inter-caste marriages. What we should strive is for such a situation by making people understand the importance of such a co-existence. Afterall they say, it is important for us to have these kinda relations as it will only strengthen our gene pool. anyway endogamy is a silent killer among hindus, i feel.
November 16th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Well, when u pass a certain age, have a decent reading habit, a reasonable understanding of world history, a reasonale IQ and an ability to think clearly, you’ll realize that organized religion is pretty silly pre-medieval concept whch has served its time. Most of the civilized world has realized that its not worth fighting or even thinking about. I was brought up Syrian Catholic, married a hindu girl,we did perform a baptism for my parents/ relatives’ sake but then we both know it was just for the sake of it. And its something we have a good laugh about usually coz the name we chose 4 her was one of wife’s fake email handles. Anyway wife prays to her own gods, we go to her family temple together and i dont hav an issue wth all that. Basically all u got to realize was that these rituals of mine or hers are something created by some ignoramus in those days of near zero scientific advancement and carried fwd by other ignoramuses who addded to those or deleted from those as per their freewill. If u allow personal relationships to be affected on basis of that sort of crap u r the biggest jackass of all.
So even the very idea of a whole lot of ppl worrying/talking about Love jihad seems pretty ridiculous to me..
November 21st, 2009 at 12:11 pm
After marrying from another religion, even though both have not changed their faiths, a question on how they will bring up their children remains. This will be toughest task they face in the life. What happens practically is that children are brought up in any one of the religion. In 90% of such cases u will see that religion is Christianity Or Islam and not Hinduism.
Here the organised manipulating strength of first two religions defeats hinduism. That pressure is asserted on the couple resulting in the hindu father/mother accepts defeat.Reason could be the religiously liberal attitude in which hindus are brought up unlike their counterparts. In the case of Islam, couple remaining in different religions and bringing up the child as muslim wont be accepted unless the other faith guy/gal converts to islam.
so it is not as easy as stated in some comments above, but the couple goes through terrible mental torture for lifetime, in the hands of society around them.
please do not think that i am against any hindu accepting other faiths. I am only against when it is forced on them due to pressure on such marriages,poverty elimination, false offer of social upliftment etc. Willingly and wholeheartedly if an Hindu realises these faiths are superior than his faith, let them convert. But i am afraid whether even 1% among the converts will fall in that category.
November 26th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Everything is fair in love and war. A couple following two religions can not stay united. So, society discourages inter-community marriage. But, if out of love somebody ignores it, then one partner have to sacrifice. It is a normal phenomenon happening. But, if for conversion somebody is making falling in love and marry, it will be like difference between planned and unplanned murder.
Love jihad may be going on. Islamic organizations give money to Muslim people who gets a non-Muslim converted to Muslim. They consider it as “neak kaam”.